Wow, my last post was two years ago this month. Not because I had nothing to say, oh no. I said plenty, but in another forum, CaringBridge, because I became another person.
I am no longer just Ann, mother, biker, badass. I'm now Ann, Cancer Survivor.
Just between us chickens, I prefer the former.
If you'd like to read the confusion, fear, and pain of cancer and its many indignities, of loss and more loss, in a blog that is most definitely NSFW, consider this your personal welcome to check out Ann Gentle's Cancer Show (yes, that's really what I named it) on CaringBridge.com. I'm pretty sure you can visit the site and type in my name, Ann Gentle, or you can clicky-clicky on this link: journal. If you choose to visit, I suggest you start with older posts, back at the beginning before I got pissed off and cynical.
Funny / not funny that it's today I return to this site. I've been thinking of shutting down the CB site now the cancer is gone and the chemo and (fingers crossed) major surgeries are behind me. It's time to focus on goals other than "survive," and I like this blog. The sad inspiration is that I'm back here because I use this Google account to access a few other blogs, and via one of those, I learned in the wee hours of the morning that its author passed away, and I am feeling terribly sad right now.
It's fitting that I return to this Go! blog this morning, 5 AM, sitting in my Amtrak bunk, returning from a trip to the mountains. I'm recovering from my most recent surgery, but needed a few days Colorado-style recovery. (No, that doesn't mean marijuana... it means mountain time, snow-laden trees, shockingly-starry skies, and definitely some of Grandma's rhubarb....)
It's a cycle, it's a circle, here I return home, here I am hopefully returning to life even as another passes on. And someday, of course, it will be my turn to pass on, and I can only hope that at least one person will be as comforted and inspired by my words as I have been by hers. Rest in peace, Laurie. Thank you.
